Our Song
Music

Maybe its a childish notion I have, from some unfulfilled teenage years, but I wish Esra and I had what we could call "our song". You know, like it could be playing on the radio or something, and we would drop everything and make sweet tender love to each other, even if we are in the middle of the 520 bridge. Our maybe just to play it at our wedding. But its re-e-e-eally hard to find something: We both have to really like it, and it has to communicate affection and love, and it should be timeless, right? I don't understand turkish lyrics, strike off half of Esra's taste. My music? Mostly alternative and little bit of rap? Really difficult. We really liked Eliot Smith's "Waltz #2, but the main chorus is: You're no good-your'e no good-you're no good. There were two possibilities on the Stone Temple Pilots No. 4 CD: I Got You:

I got you
But its the craving for the good life
That sees me through troubled times
When the mind begins to wander to the spoon

Wander to the spoon? I don't want to explain that I'm not actually a heroin junkie at my wedding.

Another one: Atlanta

She comforts me when
The candles blow out
The cake has grown mold
But the memories are sweet
The laughters all gone
But the memories are mine
The mexican princess
Is out of my life

Goddamn mexican princess?

I used to like NIN alot...Closer? You Let Me Violate You, You Let Me Penetrate You, You Let Me Desacrate You. Hmmmm, no Mr. Panayirici not till after the wedding.

Somebody help me. (Including you, Esra!) I can't give into the pull of teenybopper music. I haven't been looking that hard, maybe just a pointing in the right direction...

Mount Rainier Trip with Auntie
Family and Friends


Hadn't been there in a while. Yup it's still purty. First we( Esra and me) had a nice lunch with my parents and my Aunt Rosemary, whom I've seen maybe 15 times my whole life. She's quite a nice person, and she's thinking of moving to the northwest, although Seattle is expensive enough to keep her away from King County. It would be nice for her to live somewhat near here, as I am trying to settle here and establish some roots with family and friends, rather than inching my way up the middle class by chasing the money jobs wherever they are. But I digress...

So we hiked up to the Alta Vista viewpoint first, which was .4 miles, but it was 90 degrees and really really steep and was quite a sweaty workout. We continued on only to the glacier view, which maybe was only another .4 miles. We stopped because basically the sweat stripe running down my back was turning into icy glacier itself. We got a couple of nice pictures, played in the snow a little bit, and returned down the mountain and all had dinner in Packwood before parting ways. It was a really nice time.

The trip made me a little ambitious though. I have never been to camp Muir, which is the point where people stop and spent the night before they go up to the summit. It's only 4.1 miles, but the visitor center says it takes 7 or 8 hours to get there because you have to cross a glacier. Now, I know I would face certain death if I tried to make it to the summit. But the camp? mmmm maybe I could make that (with a few hundred rest stops)? I wonder if anybody wants to try to make it there with me, and release their inner sherpa or get away from their babies?

Katherine Sophia Burklin
Family and Friends

I know what your thinking...blah blah blah media politics where's the good stuff? Well here is my baby niece with me (left) and my brother. Can you guess when this was taken?

Right now she is recovering from a fever and scary siezure episode, but things have returned to normal, and she is a cute and lively baby who is almost walking now!

Blame the Media...but Not Too Much
Politics

So everyone I know, liberal or conservative, bashes the traditional media for various reasons, which are, of course, very good reasons: bias, innaccuracy, sensationalism, poor priorities, etc. I can't say I disagree with it, but I think people may not think of the consequences of constant generalized media bashing, and that of downgrading the esteem people have in journalists. People seem to be turning to bloggers, news 'analysis' tv shows like O'Reilly or the Daily Show, or whatever. I think it's important that these people are not, for the most part, investigative reporters. They take what's out there, put some outrage or comedy on it to make it interesting, and re-tell the tale. I think, as newspapers and whatnot are on the decline, people are forgetting to read the actual news in the first place. Me included, unfortunately.

When this happens, a lot less resources go into actually investigating things, which is what the press is there to begin with! Remember the term 'fourth estate'? A healthy press - meaning the people who actually spend money on research and investigation, is vital to a democracy because it uncovers corruption and lies of people in power! It's supposed to do that, it's supposed to be negative, and its supposed to be oppositional the the government, as even someone like Karl Rove has mentioned!

So the press is being guilty of making little things into big things? Into putting Natalie Holloway or other pretty white girls on the front page of the paper while there's a fucking war on? Yes! But this is the crap that sells nowadays. There is a hard reality that maybe news has to do this shit to actually stay in business. My friend Julie brought up a good point in that she asks "Which came first? Did people get spoiled and turned to alternative sources of news? Or did the behaviour of the media turn them off, and then they went looking for other sources?" I didn't have a response then, but as is blog fashion, I am thinking to generalize my own experience to everyone: I sure didn't stop really looking at news because it turned me off, but the outrage and jokes of the 'analysis' shows are so much more exhillerating and sexy to me, which is why I turned to them. So did many people do the same thing? I guess I think so...

There is another loss here too: There is a quote from some Senator.."Everyone is entitled to thier own opinions, but not thier own facts". Well, as a result of people skipping the news, I don't think that's true anymore. 99% of climate scientists say that global warming is happening. Hard news reports this. If you watch news analysis shows, liberal ones show it as being true, conservative ones as it not being true. So, who knows what's true? It's just a political issue now.

I know it seems I am thinking of this almost in terms of religious orthodoxy. 'THERE MUST BE ONE ABSOLUTE TRUTH, UNQUESTIONED, OR THE WORLD WILL FALL TO PIECES'. I am aware that the 'hard news' media is full of liars as well. And maybe the whole world isn't turning to bloggers and news analysis just because I seem to be. (I sure hope not). But I think maybe we should consider the costs of generalized media bashing a little bit, and to be on guard that we use criticism to make the media better rather than destroy it.

A Census Taker Tried to Test Me Once....
News

Holy shit this is the photo of the JonBenet Ramsey killer guy. The caption at seattlepi.com says "Suspect Says He Loved Her Very Much".

*shiver* berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhghghghg wow can't get much creepier than this. I don't know what's wrong with me, this photo is so cartoonishly evil I laughed out loud.

I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti....SLRGHPTHTHDPDH

UPDATE: I think this guy is a faker!

Choose your Side in the Eternal Battle
Family and Friends

Esra is trying to leave her computer job at a shark's den of a law firm, Preston, Gates & Ellis, to get a job at the Buddhist Monastery in Greenwood. She is trying to leave Team Greed and Evil and to work for Team Goodness and Enlightenment...what an opportunity to have! At the same pay!

But what do the Buddhist monks need with computers?

No Rework! No Scrap! Woo Hoo!
Work

Let PN J15120015: Assembly, Bearing, Side-Loading go down in the history books. It's my first mechanical design where I didn't generate any scrap or reworks due to design errors! I'm not Senior Design Engineer fo nuttin! (Other than for the company to avoid paying a promotion-related pay raise. Just kidding overlords!) It makes me feel like slightly less of a burned out zombie for a few seconds...

Sometimes I envy the software engineers because they can just try lots and lots of things by changing a few lines of code and hitting the run button. But mechanically, you have to be perfect the first time: stuff has to fit together, it can't corrode, it can't break until 40,000 hrs have passed, it has to be assemble-able, it can't overheat, it can't vibrate, it has to be usable by trained baboons, etc. all sorts of details must be taken into account. Oh and it has to be cheap. Do the software engineers have to have cheap lines of code? I don't think so. Oh, and if you screw up, just send out a downloadable patch, so it's okay if you are somewhat incompetent!

Todd's Super-Simplified Economic Philosophy
Politics

In a previous post, I had mentioned this:

... my view is that consumerism creates a blandly pleasurable, albiet empty, existence, where at least people can coexist peacefully in mutual dependence. Other people may think of the political strife, exploitation, and environmental destruction associated with it. Who knows? I think the first statement is probably more true, ...

To which I got this stinging reply (I see through the end-smiley face!):

Maybe both are true...and you are experiencing the first half of it and the third world countries are experiencing the second half? Just a thought:)

Just kidding about the stinging. A good point, I think it is definitely true that my experience has been with the good part of consumerism and not the bad part, and thus led to my opinion. But what it really comes down to is my honkey Tom Friedmanesque semi-libertarian economic opinion:

1. A place starts out in total dire poverty, with skeletal kids who don't seem to mind flies crawling on thier eyeballs, etc.

2. Some shitball company opens a factory, and provides crap, Upton Sinclair's Jungle-type jobs where the mortality rate is at least better than total famine.

3. There start to be lots of these people, and they want to form unions and get political power. And with the help of liberals, internationals, spoiled brats who feel guilty about thier wealth, etc. they get some, and start improving thier existence, and infrastructure.

4. Poof! American-Style Democracy, with an Environmental Protection Agency!

Okay maybe step 3-4 has a few sub steps. I wish you could go directly from step 1-4, but that empirically seems too difficult and exploitation just seems to be an unfortunate step in the more natural process. It is nice to see better attempts at 1-4 jumping, like with "fair trade" things, so I can hope this model becomes obsolete!

So bring it on commies!

The Stranger
Books

SPOILER ALERT! I just finished an audio-book (I think I am too dyslexic to actually read things anymore) of The Stranger, by Albert Camus. It's a book about a guy who basically doesn't care about anything, because nothing really matters in the big picture of things. This idea is so true to this guy, that he ends up killing a man for really no reason. His 'absurd' trial, where one main bit of evidence is that he didn't cry at his mom's funeral, leads not just to his execution but to his realization that sense nothing matters in the big picture of things, the only consequential thing that matters to an individual is his death, which is his only true freedom to the absurdities of reality. At the very least, it's an interesting book because usually books aren't about unlikable main characters with such bleak subjects. But it's a good book because probably everybody at one time or another just feels this way.

I agree in some regards (before the suicidal point), but my main disagreement is that I consider my own happiness important. What I hope makes this less selfish seeming is that I think my own happiness also depends on other peoples happiness, which manifests itself as morality. Now whether this morality is taught or instinctual (I think empathy is somewhat instinctual and a source of morality) is a whole other question. Morality is probably just an attempt at the optimization of happiness, which maybe just is an increases the survival rate of the human species. I am trying to grapple with how to express that one can feel that things may not matter in the big picture, but why does that necessarily mean one should act or more importantly have an intense, pervading depression(?) like the character did in his real life? I kind of think that whether anything matters is a complete unknown, and maybe really undefinable, so why don't you concentrate on what you do know (things that make you happy) and work on that?

Guerrilla Graffitti
Art, Politics

Whilst screwing about on the web, I found a little snippet of a 'Guerilla Artist' named Banksy, and I have to say that I find it kind of appealing. He just uses stencils and spray paint, and gets it on buildings in a flash before the bobbies can get'im. His graffitti usually magically increase the value of the properties he puts them on! So I first saw images like the one shown, which were just kind amusing - a maid painted on a wall in a dirty neighborhood. Most of his stuff is more political, sort of the anti-fascist, anti-consumerism stuff you see in a lot with artists.

I do like the sentiments, although of course I am immersed neck-deep in consumerism with my Zuma scooter, bubble tea, RAZR phones, etc. It at least makes me think about it; my view is that consumerism creates a blandly pleasurable, albiet empty, existence, where at least people can coexist peacefully in mutual dependence. Other people may think of the political strife, exploitation, and environmental destruction associated with it. Who knows? I think the first statement is probably more true, although I don't believe my level of consumerism is environmentally sustainable on a global level. I can get into my political wishy-washiness in other blog entries...

Back to Banksy, he also painted his stencils on the wall separating Palestine and Isreal, which seemed very poignant to me in ways I can't really figure out how to express. It's a sad state of affairs, of course, and I do feel a little wierd blogging about it especially after an entry about a high school buddy who just shot up a Jewish center. But to me, maybe just on a fundamental level of the engineer I am, a wall seems like a very humane and effective way to limit the violence, and it could be taken down in the future, should things ever calm down. It does seem to me that where the wall actually is (i.e. it looks like a 'land grab' to my untrained eye) complicates the issue, but again maybe thats another blog entry.