Little Miracles

Esra is telling me how cute asian children/babies are. I think she wants to adopt an asian kid Angelina-Jolie Style. We can do that, but I will name her Soon-Yi Burklin.

Lose Weight By Public Humiliation
Diet

UPDATE: Saturday, Nov 24: Down to 200, in spite of several off-days on thanksgiving week! Atkins baby!

UPDATE:Monday, Nov 13,2006: Had a rough couple of weeks in a row, stress-wise: Studying for EIT, Taking EIT, Stressing out about probable non-passing EIT, stressing about elections, I ballooned up to 210 lbs. But I've been on the diet for a week now, and not taking off saturday I am at 202!

UPDATE: Monday, Sept 25, 2006: 205 lbs. didn't exercise or atkins much...let the humilation set it and work its magic!

I always have this need to tell people my weight all the time; it makes me feel proud to have lost it and it makes me ashamed when I've gained it. Nobody gives too much of a crap, but I always felt that when people know something about you, it can shame you into doing the right thing. So I will assume everyone is thinking 'lard ass' when I tell my weight this week. Hopefully, just by seeing it, I will be super-motivated to lose it. Lets see what a partial Atkins and exercise week will do!

Monday Sept 18, 2006: 203.5 lbs

This is Your Brain On Drugs

(I can't get YouTube to link to my account for some reason.)
HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS MEET SNOW WHITE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiV6AWS4GUw

If you are the writer for a cartoon, that is. I used to love the Harlem Globetrotters cartoon when I was a young'un. When not kicking whitey's ass at basketball, they each had special superhero powers (which I am totally not making up): One of them could pull useful random shit like a chainsaw or something out of his afro, one could turn into spaghetti, one could turn into a basketball, one could clone himself, and one could turn into liquid. Anyways, if that stuff isn't quite bizarre enough for you, the 'Trotters go to fairy tale land and put on a show for Snow White. Yes that one. This is A-1 material for Mystery Science Theater. There are no circumstances should sexual/racial innuendo could be inserted into this YouTube. But if you can think of any, please feel free to leave them in the comments.

Atkins Diet Potatoesque Salad

I made a great atkins recipe discovery (in a book) for myself this weekend!

Ingredients:
1 1-oz Yukon GoldFingerling Potato
1 12-oz Pork Chop
1 48-oz can of Trans Fat Crisco
1 beef tongue for garnish

Ha! Just kidding Atkins Bigots! Really, its

Ingredients:
4 Hard Boiled Eggs
1 Medium Sized Rutabega (<-Not bad fake potato!)
3/4 Cup Mayo
1/2 Cup Scallions
1/2 Cup Celery
1 medium dill pickle if you like that sort of thing
1 Tbsp Lemon Juice
1/2 packet of Splenda

1. Pare Rutabega and cut into 4 pieces of roughly equal size. Boil until soft (30 mins), then let cool.

2. Put everything into a bowl (of course chopping up scallions and celery and eggs) and mix it up.

Voila! A 2 step Fake Potato Salad that is lo-carb and tastes good to non-dieters!

What I Will Like About It

Well let see, honestly #1 I think is investigations and subpeonas of Bush, Cheney, and Republican Congressmen that have been blocked the last 4 years. I know it's bitter, but let's let the truth be heard.

I like to see the minimum wage increase. I'd like an attempt at universal health care. I'd like the EPA to do it's job. I'd like to have a balanced budget with paygo rules. I'd like to know what the true deficit is (currently it isn't counting war expenditures of government borrowing from Social Security.) I'd like better CAFE standards/gas mileage for cars. I'd like tax cuts to end for oil companies and billionaires. I'd like prayers to stay out of school, and for evolution to be taught. I

I'd like to see shit appointments to supreme court, UN get blocked. I'd like the morning after pill not to be blocked by the FDA because of a pro-life christian who forcibly sodomized his wife (Dr. David Hager). I'd like to see global warming reports out of NOAA not blocked by hack political appointees. I like that James "Global Warming is the Biggest Hoax Ever Purpetrated" Inhofe will no longer chair the senate commitee on environment. I like that Ted "I will not make the oil executives swear to tell the truth" Stevens is no longer the chair of the energy commitee.

Honestly, I like divided government best. Even if I despise some republican politics, having the opposition party in power somewhere keeps people honest. Uhhhhhhhhhhh man. I'm done for a while.

An Anti-Cocooning Realization

I don't have a lot of expectation that this victory will last more than two years. I think a lot of positives will happen, especially with a divided government, but the scandals, the closeted republicans, and the anti-war temporary alliance probably will not be there the next cycle. People will now have to like the policies that come out of dem control to maintain it. Will they? I hope so.

An Iraq Aside

Now, the dems are clearly in favor of some kind of pullout. But it is clear that Americans are in favor of a pullout. Dems ran on it, many republicans ran on it, or at least ran ads to distance themselves from the president. It is going to happen. Some people might feel that degeneration into civil war is NOT inevitable. I no longer am in this group. But even if the goal is to 'win', where it simply means stability in regards to it's neighbors, this dem win has several benefits and caveats.

1. Rumsfeld is Gone. Because of this election. If the reason is incompetence or inablity to change tactics, that's a great turning point. (I believed it may have been at the beginning, but now it's too late)
2. A timetable for withdrawal is a very effective means of putting pressure on the Iraqi government to actually reach a political compromise, which has eluded them. If we leave, it will be up to the local population to elect compromisers instead of hard liners. (Who knows if this would matter, or if I'm stating the case correctly.)
3. Congress does not have the authority to pull out, leaving them there for two years (Bush's remaining term). They do have the ability to cut funding for the war, but I believe it's an untenable political position that won't happen. This gives two years for the iraq government to train up thier forces, if that's the issue.
4. The democratic congress will not authorize war with Iran or Syria, barring the actual necessity to do so.
5. Democrats have much better relations with our allies. I agree that there is no way in hell that other countries will DIRECTLY help Iraq, much can be done with diplomatic support, and periphery support such as intelligence sharing and blocking materials from being shipped to the war zone, etc.

Whose to Blame?

It's finally the R's, not the D's who have to have some squabbling about who is to blame. They thought that John Kerry was going to lose the election for the D's, buying into thier own hype. An early contender looks to be Donald Rumsfeld, who *ahem* resigned this morning. Actually, I might agree that this IS a huge reason for thier defeat. The blame for keeping him in there of course, would be wit da chimp-in-chief. Iraq should be, and is, reason #1.

Who else? Could it be Rush Limbaugh, with his Parkinson's-mocking tirade against Alex P. Keaton? At least in Missouri it's likely. Neil Cavuto, the Fox money show man, says the Micheal Jackson trial 'distracted people from supporting Bush's privatizing social security'. Hmmmm. Couldn't it be that maybe people don't like that idea? Maybe people don't live in his republican marching band bubble? Of course there are Mark Foley and Ted Haggard. For sure they will get blamed, because they are under-cover homocrats who infiltrated and undermined the Fortress of the Absolute Truth. They were never, ever, real republicans. Was it Ann Coulter's hateful face appearing everywhere?

Safe bets say the goats would be Abramoff (already convicted) and the homocrats. It will be fun to see the feeding frenzy.

Favorite Republican Defeats

Hmmmmmmmm where shall we start? The following scumbags will have no power to make law or government decisions in the US:

Katherine Harris, Sen FL: In 2000, I couldn't have really thought an election would be stolen in the US. After seeing this crazy rightwing candidate ("We will win back America for God", Non-baptized legislators would "Legislate Sin","God is the one that chooses our rulers") I really believe it now. I saw her do an flirtatios interview with Sean Hannity, standing sideways to stick her boobs out. Ho lee shit.

Conrad Burns, Sen MN: We are up against a "faceless enemy" of terrorists "drive taxicabs in the daytime and kill at night." Abramoff payee.

Mike McGavick, Sen WA: Generically bland, empty rhetoric guy. Maybe not the worst republican ever, but his vacuous ideas "paycuts for unbalance budgets" and vapid statements "Prez isn't getting our frustration, we need to win in iraq and then get our troops home" made his ads really annoying. Plus the 4 mil CEO bonus.

(Shelley Sekula Gibbs) ex-Tom Delay, Rep TX: Well what can be said about this shithead that hasn't been said already? Just the fact that a gerrymandered district, who voted for Tom Fucking Delay, would ever elect a democrat is amazing.

George 'Macaca' Allen, Sen VA: Thank you for introducing the word Macaca in everone's dictionary. Loves the confederate flag, despite being from California. Maybe this is too bad, I was hoping he might run for president, as I would have thought he is a sure loser.

J. Kenneth Blackwell, Gov OH: One of these people who claim the democrats support NAMBLA. 2004 election stealing? Maybe. Convicted outgoing R governer invested state employee pension funds in a 'rare coin' collection.

Micheal Steele, Sen MD: Just watched his bullshit on meet the press, yelling at the democrat as to "What is your plan in Iraq?" When asked the same question, it was all ummms and awwws. He actually had a bumper sticker that said "Steele Democrat" with a blue background. He defended this with "Haven't you heard of a Reagan Democrat?" He had no Steele, Republican bumper sticker. Lying idiot.

Rick Santorum, Sen Pa: "In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." Bullying fundamentalist asshole.

Chris Chocola, Rep IN: Heh heh no real reason, other than his being nicknamed Count Chocola.

Richard Pombo Rep CA: Asshole blocked any new wildlife reserves/parks if they ever ever had a road built on him, including logging roads. Steers federal contracts to enrich himself, Abramoff payee.

Don Sherwood, Rep NY: Okay, Okay, I had a mistress. But I didn't choke her! Please forgive me!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh that feels good. All good representatives of the republican party.

Great Big Ball of Sunshine

What a thing to wake up to, today of all days. Could this mean something? Is it an omen, after days of katrina-esque flooding? That America woke up and got a clue? A word comes to mind. That word is, quite simply: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Thank you everybody for voting. I thank myself for superstitiously not blogging so that my acidically anti-republican worldview would not disenchant any innocent undecideds that happened upon my extremely influential blog. As of right now, Dems have taken 30 house seats (needed 15) and 4 senate seats (need 6, 2 races left dems ahead).

So I am extreeeeeemely happy. Yeeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaw!

A Giant F-U goes out to the following, who by the republican majority said that thier views represent America's:
Sean Hannity - Rush Limbaugh - Ann Coulter - Michelle Malkin - Brit Hume - Neil Cavuto and of course... Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and thier axis of assholes.